Separating truth from fiction is the first step towards making better parenting decisions. Let’s puncture some of the most common misconceptions about online harassment.
21 Aug 2025
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5 min. read
Cyberbullying, unfortunately, is on the rise. Data from the Cyberbullying Research Center reveals that just over 58% of middle- and high-school students in the US have experienced online harassment of some sort in their lives. That’s compared to 37% in 2019 and just a quarter (24%) a decade before that. Separate data claims that over two-fifths (43%) of teen video game players have been bullied. Some were called offensive names. Others were physically threatened, while many were sent sexually explicit content.
Parents are rightly concerned at such trends. But how much of what you believe as gospel is actually true? Like many online phenomena, half-truths, myths and misconceptions can distort the reality of cyberbullying – and make it harder for you to make the right parenting decisions. Let’s debunk some of the most common fallacies:
Top 10 misconceptions about cyberbullying
1. What happens online stays online
Like many online trends, bullying is enabled by technology, but has its roots deep in the human psyche. There are many reasons why kids may engage in bullying behavior, from peer pressure to low self-esteem, attention seeking and domestic abuse. Digital platforms like social media can enable them to bully others more pervasively. But it’s not confined to the online sphere. Bullies may want to torment their victims in real life as well as online. And even if they don’t, the psychological damage they can inflict certainly has a real-world impact on their victims.
2. It’s just kids being kids
Dismissing bullying as something kids do as a normal part of growing up threatens to downplay its potential gravity. In fact, it can have a serious long-term impact on the social and emotional development of the individual being bullied. It’s also true that cyberbullying isn’t just something that happens to kids. Trolling, doxing, revenge porn and stalking are all forms of cyberbullying familiar to most of us. Two-fifths of Americans claim to have suffered online harassment.
3. Ignore it and it will go away
This rarely works. By the same rationale, it’s a fallacy to think that reporting bullying behavior will only make it worse. In fact, sometimes trying to ignore it can actually embolden the bully if they believe their actions are having an impact. As this girl wrote on the Unicef website, only by taking concerted action and challenging the bully directly can there be hope of resolution.
4. My child will tell me if there’s something wrong
If your child is honest and open with you 100% of the time, you’re a lucky parent. Kids move through several distinct phases when they’re growing up, changing their psychological and emotional relationship with their parents as they go. Especially when they move into the teenage years, they may be too embarrassed to tell you something is wrong, or too humiliated. They may not understand the gravity of what’s happening to them. Or they may worry that you’ll punish them or take their device away if they say something. Reassuring them that you are there to support, not judge or punish, is one of the best things you can do to help them open up.
5. Remove the tech and you solve the problem
Cyberbullying is enabled by technology but it certainly doesn’t miraculously disappear if you confiscate your child’s smartphone. If they’re being bullied at school, there’ll be ample opportunities for the harassment to continue offline. Punishing your child by removing their device will delight the bully, and do nothing for your relationship with your kids.
6. It’s almost impossible to identify online bullies
Sometimes the cloak of anonymity online does empower bullies – just as it enables cybercrime to thrive. But the reality is that most bullies know their victims, whether they’re schoolmates, former friends or romantic partners. It’s also true that social media and other platforms are able to unmask certain users if they are proven to have broken the terms of service through harassment or bullying.
7. It’s easy to spot
The challenge with cyberbullying is that it happens virtually. It doesn’t leave physical scars, but can certainly damage victims mentally. That makes things difficult for parents, especially if you find it tricky to talk openly with your children about feelings. You can’t rely on your child to tell you that something’s wrong, for the reasons listed above. So you have to get better at spotting the warning signs. Sudden changes in behavior, demeanor or academic performance may be a useful indicator. But they’re not a given. Gentle inquiry may also be necessary.
8. Cyberbullies are evil outcasts
When cyberbullies are finally unmasked, the truth of their identity can often shock friends and family. People can say and do things online that they would never even contemplate in the real world. Most bullies are doing what they do because they themselves have been bullied or abused, because they have low self esteem or mental health issues, or due to peer pressure. It’s easy to portray them as the devil, especially if they’re causing harm to your children. But the truth is usually more complicated than that.
9. Cyberbullying causes a large number of suicides
Official US data notes that 14.9% of adolescents have been cyberbullied and 13.6% of adolescents have made a serious suicide attempt. But correlation doesn’t imply causation. In fact, there are many reasons why a young person may wish to end their life, and cyberbullying may or may not be one of those reasons. At any rate, we must be alert to the dangers that persistent online harassment poses to the most vulnerable members of society.
10. Social media platforms are to blame
Social media and messaging platforms are often demonized for the role they play as “enablers” of cyberbullying. But increasingly they’re being forced by legislators to better police their ecosystems. The UK’s Online Safety Act, for example, is one of the most rigorous such laws in the world, imposing a “duty of care” on certain online service providers to ensure the wellbeing of their users. Bullying isn’t always easy to spot. Context, nuance, slang and linguistic idiosyncrasies are sometimes difficult for algorithms to detect accurately. But they’re getting better at doing so – as they must. At any rate, it is important for parents to talk to their children about the risks and pitfalls of social media.
Parting thought
No parent wants their child exposed to cyberbullying. But if the alternative is to cocoon them away without access to the digital world, that could do more harm than good. The key is to keep your eyes open for any warning signs, keep an open dialogue, and offer your emotional (and technical) support. Devise a plan and work the problem together as a team.
